Stephen and Ginny’s testimonial
Question: Tell us about your life before ThroughConversation and what made you reach out?
Stephen: Life before ThroughConversation was very full, very complete, very active, very high stress level but generally pretty good overall, except on the marriage front and the marriage side was going sideways and that’s what made me reach out or made us reach out to ThroughConversation.
Ginny: My husband and I had reached a point in our thirty five year marriage where it just wasn’t working the way I thought it should be working and it was sort of sad and boring and there was a lot of anger, and distrust and that’s not how I wanted to live out my life. I wanted better for myself and ideally for my family and I didn’t think I had the tools to make that decision and I decided if it was time to go I wanted my kids to know that I had done everything I could do to be sure that this was the right decision.
Question: Why did you choose ThroughConversation?
Stephen: I think the primary reason was the testimonials that were online. Seeing what other people had truly experienced and how they felt about it, that was probably the primary one. The secondary would have been the fact that they talked about how it changed their situation quite quickly, not a long drawn out process.
Ginny: Because it was time limited and it was different, I tried regular counselling, I’d done self-help and all that sort of stuff and I had quite a library of self-help books and they hadn’t got me where I wanted to go and I just kept ruminating the same stuff and when I met Jean-Paul I thought that he was somebody that was going to get me out of ruminating and get me into some action.
Question: Did ThroughConversation give you what you desired?
Stephen: It did give me what I desired and it gave me more than that. It saved my marriage, kept us together but at the same time it gave me some fantastic side benefits with relationships with family and friends and everybody in my life, as well as setting me up really well for the future.
Ginny: Yeah and the reason for the hesitation is I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted in this. I came in thinking that this was over, this would never be what I needed it to be again and now that’s not how things are. So it didn’t actually give me what I desired, it gave me better than what I desired.
Question: How did your relationship as a husband and wife change?
Stephen: It let us be our individual people, individual persons, individual characters but at the same time strengthened our relationship together and balance things out in terms of who was who in the relationship.
Ginny: We stopped blaming each other, we stopped trying to second guess each other and we kind of started over and let bygones be bygones. We started communicating much more clearly and effectively and I think we started to be compassionate for each other again.
Question: What impressed you the most about this work?
Stephen: That it delivered on what it was promising which was to save my marriage and that was a key requirement but it also delivered on what we had seen with the testimonials online and the speed at which things started to change and improve.
Ginny: I think the simplicity of it and how quickly I started to see a difference and that it wasn’t the sort of work where everybody said ‘oh you’ve been doing that,’ it just sort of, I hate the word organically, it just started to happen and as I say there was no big banners, nobody could say ‘oh you’ve done this or you’ve read that,’ it was just ‘you’ve changed.’
Question: How was your experience working with Jean-Paul?
Stephen: The experience of working with Jean-Paul was great, very positive, he’s not a guy whose down and that obviously rubs off on you and he was professional but kept it personal and very astute at sensing what needed to be done at different times.
Ginny: It was different from any kind of work I’d ever done before, because he has an intuitive sense of where you need to work and where he needs to start to move you from the place of disconnection with yourself or your relationships or whatever to get to a point where life works.
Question: How is ThroughConversation different from traditional couples; counselling?
Stephen: The first thing that comes to mind in comparing the two would be that ThroughConversation certainly in the early stages is very much not about talking about what you’re doing as an individual. Whereas my experience of some counseling work is sharing.
Ginny: Just that it’s two individual programs that happen to run concurrently and even though the programs are completely separate we could see or I could see, I think he would say the same that we started to communicate in a different way and we weren’t talking about the program but we were just working the tools and we could see almost in a mirror how the tools could be used I guess it’s probably the best way to describe it, and it wasn’t a bunch of jargon, ‘now in this conversation you need to approach it this way.’ it was just fit into sort of normal conversation and it was a pattern that we could see was different.
Question: What would you say to someone who is considering this program?
Stephen: I would say go for it, do your homework and make sure it’s going to deliver what you think you’re looking for. What your situation is, what your reason for looking into it but if you do your homework and it fits that bill absolutely go for it.
Ginny: Don’t try to understand it, just trust it, go with it, accept it and see the change you want to see and then some you’ll get more than you think you’re going to get.
Question: Is there anything else you would like to add?
Stephen: I would say that as corny as it sounds, its life changing and I would describe myself as somebody who’s been cynical of such things in the past and seen the ads on TV as it were and this truly is life changing.
Ginny: You know I came here expecting to find a way really I think, of looking at a way to end somewhat amicably a thirty five year marriage and now I’m not doing that and I don’t have to tell my kids why, I don’t have to tell anybody why. People that we know are looking at us and saying what kind of Kool-Aid are you two drinking and that’s a way better place to be than where I thought we were going to be.